Do What You Want, Get What You Want.

I’m sitting here at my computer thinking about what I can write to attract a Gen Z audience. I want to capture their attention, hold it, and make them want to keep reading. My sister says that Gen Z isn’t on websites, they are on apps. A million websites (and apps) say a million different things about how to grow a Gen Z audience. I don’t want to read any of it.

Why do I want a Gen Z audience? I’m thinking back to when I was 18, 20, 21. That’s when I started my very long journey toward happiness and fulfillment. I want to talk to people who are there now, as a way to try to make use of the many years I took getting to where I am now. I want to turn my struggle into someone else’s success. Maybe they can have something that I didn’t – a mentor who helps them shave years off of their own journey to happiness and fulfillment.

I did have mentors along the way. But I didn’t really see them as mentors. That’s the first lesson I wish I learned a lot quicker. Mentorship is as simple as picking up a book or watching a YouTube video. Mentorship is just a fancy word for a thing where you learn something from someone else. Sure, it can be sustained, but it doesn’t have to be. Some of the most important lessons I learned along my journey have been from a short YouTube video that I forgot the name of, or an e-book I downloaded for free.

Like Cocky-Funny. I learned the cocky-funny technique from a dating advice e-book by Eben Pagan (aka David DeAngelo) called Double Your Dating, which I found for free somewhere. That set me off on a long journey that ultimately led to my Communications degree, and a job in radio, then consulting, and then moving from Idaho to California. I don’t remember anything else from that book, but that one thing changed my life for the better. Eben Pagan is my mentor.

As I think about all this, I have to be honest with myself. All I want is to do what I want, and get what I want. I don’t want to jump through hoops trying to get people to like me. I don’t really care if people like me. I don’t want to put hours and hours into writing the perfect thing that is most likely to go viral, and execute the perfect marketing campaign. Bleh. I hate all of it. I just want to do what I want, and get what I want.

All I want is to do what I want, and get what I want. I don’t want to jump through hoops trying to get people to like me.

Me, a few seconds ago

Luckily for me, what I’ve realized – sort of the most important lesson I’ve learned, in fact – is that the more I do what I want, the more I get what I want. So, fuck it.

I know that probably sounds ridiculous. The more you do what you want, the more you get what you want? Sounds too good to be true. It’s not.

Think about all the pressures on you to be something you’re not. Social media, advertising, parents, friends… they’re all trying to get you to do different stuff. Do you want to do that stuff? Probably not, really. How stoked are you when a friend cancels plans? How often do you buy a product, only to hate the living fuck out of using it? How often do you take someone’s advice, and it ends up “meh”? Allll. The. Time. Right?

Not doing what you want doesn’t work. You don’t do what you want, and you still don’t get what you want. But think about this: Imagine getting exactly what you want. What if you had to do a bunch of things you don’t want to do to get it? Is that really what you want? No, of course not.

Now think about doing what you want. Let’s say you cancel plans with a friend, and that friend is disappointed, and they stop asking to do stuff with you. Great! One less thing to worry about in your life. I’m not even kidding. You just eliminated one barrier to your own happiness and fulfillment. I bet half the people you currently know could go, and you’d be happier already.

It’s not just about eliminating things you don’t want. There’s also the doing what you want part. But in order to have the time, energy, and space in your life to actually do what you want to do, you’re going to have to start giving up on things you don’t want.

And that’s what I have to remind myself. I don’t want to worry about SEO and all sorts of other shit right now. I want to write this article. So that’s what I’m going to do. Fuck all the people who say I should do it another way. I don’t care.

I have been following this “do what you want, get what you want” protocol – not perfectly, but increasingly – for the past 10 years. When I started, I was jobless, depressed, still living in my hometown, and I had recently lost interest in what I was studying in college. Then, my girlfriend dumped me for my best friend. I was not doing what I wanted, and I was not getting what I wanted. Now, I’m living in a nice neighborhood in beautiful San Diego, California, working in a career I love, and am with an amazing, beautiful woman who is my best friend. I’m doing what I want, and I’m getting what I want.

It’s not all perfect. Just today, I had to decide if I wanted to go to the beach, or work on writing. And guess what? Writing won. Who knew. But I like it. It’s fulfilling. I’m happy.

I’m going to keep doing what I want, and getting what I want. And people are going to like it, and follow along, and engage, and comment, because that’s what I want, too. Join me!